Did you hear about the two antennas that got married?
The ceremony was long and boring, but the reception was great!

I was in Church and I kept seeing people dipping there hands in the holy water when they preyed.. So I wonder what made this water so holy.. some of the people said it was blessed others just said they knew it from faith.. but when I asked the priest what made it so holy.. he simply replied .. we take it back and boil the HELL out of it...


=)

A short story:
was once a man who was born on 05/05/1955 at 5 in the morning, his whole life was around number 5, his family was 5 people, he had 5 brothers, the birthday day was to buy a game lottery with $ 55 and won $ 5555, at that time the horse races were what generated more money, then the subject was a few races, one of the local bettors said: "hey, you know which horse has been winning ?... the 5! " the guy already knowing that he is lucky with the 5, then at the box office he bets everything, his house, his car, the 5555$ until...
Do you know how ended the race? the horse...
5 position.
the end.

Every salad is a Caesar Salad if you stab it enough times.

A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, “If you’re happy and you know it…”
The room was full of arm amputees.

-Justice comes
-Opens! Opens! We are the police, we want to talk to you
-How many?
-We are four open the door!
-Tell between you

*BA dum tss*

Dont count me as a participant

What's worse than a sexually active daughter? One that just lays there.

Is the KKK really that racist?
I went to one of their meetings once and there were a lot of black guys hanging around


I hate it when someone says that r*pe jokes aren't funny
I didn't ask for their consent anyway


Last week I was raping this woman, right... When she said "Wait, please, think of my children!"
What a kinky woman..


Fitness center ,, Joan of Arc" burn the calories

i feel the loneliness that the bacteria felt at 0.01% when Dettol eliminated 99.99% of its friends

Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girlfriend?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.


Dark humor is like food. Not everybody gets it.

Small story;

On a flight to manila, Philippines, a customer asked me for some whiskey, so I poured double whiskey, and turned to the other side to get the small tray.

My colleague came dancing to my Galley, and she drank the whiskey thinking it was an Apple Juice.

LMFAO I freaked out, and felt so bad, she was vomiting in the lavatory, luckily she was fine and it was a very long flight.

Kentucky Fried Chicken wrote:

Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girlfriend?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.


Dark humor is like food. Not everybody gets it.

Congrats on your memes anniversary, now they are 10 years old

Easiest way to learn English
Throw some oil on the ground
30 min and US army will be there
And u can learn from them
(Not a joke)

@Mighty's life
ill take my prize

Do you know how i know your mother has low standarts? She chose not to abort you

Mighty wrote:

Red wrote:

@Mighty's life
ill take my prize

Do you know how i know your mother has low standarts? She chose not to abort you

you know what else is a joke? Your hairline
fucking bitch

fuckboy haircut

Do you know Whess?
It's me

All those among you who know the Bride will know that she is a wonderful and caring person. She deserves a good husband. Thank God he married her before she found one.”